Planning a wedding can be very stressful. You want this time to be a time of gentle planning, since there are so many details stressing you out already. But sometimes getting ready for a wedding can be so hard! The last thing you want to do is add icing on the cake by arguing with your fiancé about who wants what. How you both handle this wedding planning fights will tell how you will end up handling problems that crop up during your marriage. Let’s take a look at the top ten things you might end up fighting over, and how you can solve or avoid this problems.
1. Family invitations. Some of the most common wedding planning fights are over family invitations. Whether your fiancé’s guest list is growing or your/his parents want to invite people you/your fiancé barely know, remember to keep things calm and ask your future husband/bride to look at the list compared to yours. Add up the number and see how much each family’s list will cost. Like kids say sometimes “be fair”. If there’s an overage on one of your list, ask if there is some way to cut down on the costs, reduce the guest list, or ask the parents to help with a portion of the cost. Be sure this doesn’t become a power play.
2. Groom involvement. Or should that be, “lack thereof”? Many men find décor and color matching to be something foreign, so don’t be surprised if he doesn’t step in and offer suggestions. What you can do is try to involve him by breaking down what he does like, or what he does want to help you with. If he is not enthusiastic about picking flowers, maybe he can help with the food, DJ, videographer etc.. This conversation can also reveal whether he thinks your parents are too involved in the planning process, in which case you both might need to do more of the planning yourselves.
3. Decorations. On the other hand, you might have a fiancé who does have an opinion on how things should look at the reception. You might be disagreeing about colors, or table settings. What you can do to resolve this is to rank the importance of each item, and then negotiate or compromise. You might end up winning on what flowers will be used, but he’ll get to choose the overall color scheme.
4. Money. In some cases, this might actually be number one. You should work together here to make sure you both agree on what the money is being spent on. Communication is key! You might be a spender while he’s a saver. Remember that marriage is about compromise and meeting each other in the middle. He might otherwise get resentful if you spend thousands on hair and makeup, but you skimp on other areas. Be sure you work this out, because few things will be more indicative of how you will handle matters in the future.
5. His friends. Some of his friends might be stuck in their fraternity days, and you are concerned about their influence on him over the wedding weekend. You should never try to tell him who his friends can be, but you maybe able to setup road blocks for him. First of all, you should always talk to your fiance and let him know how you feel about certain friends ( in a nice way). His best men might be a good friend but his drinking problems can leave a bad taste for some family members. Some experts recommend that you ask some of the men in your life, who you trust, to be there and counter balance. Remember that communication is key in a relationship and is a way better alternative than fighting.
6. His past. Suppose he wants to invite an old friend, who happens to be an ex-girlfriend, to the wedding. You admit that you have more than a few flames of jealousy rising up as a result. Some experts want you to keep this in mind – he chose you, not her, to be his partner for life. Maybe instead you can try to get to know her, and see what he likes about her. If those jealousy pangs don’t subside, you may not be ready for marriage yet. You’ll need to both discuss your pasts, and which exes might still be involved and how.
7. Religion. If you both are coming from very different traditions, be sure you take time before the wedding to understand where the other person comes from. He may not be aware that your faith is so important to you, or vice versa. This is a great chance for you both to get to know each other better and grow as a result. Make sure to talk to that uncle of yours who likes to find the negative in everything and explain your expectations to your family.
8. Location, location, location. You both live in one state, your family is from another state, and his family is from a third. He wants the wedding to be where you currently live, but you want to have your wedding at your parents’ home. How to solve this? Compromise and find out why he wants to have the wedding in your current location. Does he feel closer to his friends than his family? Is he worried about the budget? You may want to consider having the wedding in one place, and then a reception-like gathering in the other places.
9. Bridezilla. This is all about you! If he wonders what happened to the girl he fell in love with, it might be time to tone it down and worry less. It’s about the marriage, not the wedding. Remember who is walking down the aisle with you. “It takes two to make a thing go right”
10. Prenuptial agreements. He might have asked you for one, and you freaked out about it. You might be wondering why he’s planning for a divorce already. This is one you really need to talk about, because it can fester and lead to some major trust issues if you don’t. You will also need to discuss and hammer out details on your finances before the wedding day.
Whatever comes up, be sure you talk it out and don’t let it simmer. Unresolved issues can end up becoming huge problems down the road, and you don’t want to start your life together with problems. Avoid this wedding planning fights and you’ll be able to enjoy the preparations for your special day with your beloved. A good entertainment company, like ours, will also be able to smooth things out and allow you to spend an unforgettable night together. Go on contact us.